How To Identify Conditional Love: The Telltale Signs

Everyone experiences love uniquely. It can be intense, wonderful, and frustrating all at the same time. But what happens when your love starts to feel conditional? It can be tough to tell when somebody you care about is only in it for the short term. They may be inconsiderate, rude to others, and make you feel like you’re nothing to them.

If you think somebody you love may be conditional in their feelings, some telltale signs could indicate as much. If you find yourself constantly doubting whether your partner loves you or not. There may be some signs that your love is conditional. This article will look at 14 of the most common signs of conditional love and help you identify them.

How To Identify Conditional Love: The Telltale Signs

14 Most Common Signs Of Conditional Love

Common Signs Of Conditional Love

Conditional love is a type of love where people make love on conditions. This means that the person you’re in love with only feels comfortable loving you if you fulfill certain things. These conditions can be anything from being faithful to each other to living together happily.

Conditional love can be incredibly frustrating, as it leaves you feeling like you’re always playing second fiddle. It also makes it difficult to build a healthy relationship. Because your partner is never really sure if you love them or not. The most common signs of conditional love include:

1. You’re Always Wondering If Your Partner Loves You.

You're Always Wondering If Your Partner Loves You.
JOVO JOVANOVIC / Stocksy

If you’re always wondering if your partner loves you, it’s a sign that their love may be conditional. Other telltale signs include feeling like you have to earn their love. Or that they only show affection when you’ve done something they approve of. If you’re in a relationship where you don’t feel secure in your partner’s love. It may be time to discuss what you need to feel loved and supported.

2. You Have To Do Something To “Earn” Your Partner’s Love.

You Have To Do Something To Earn Your Partner's Love.

One of the telltale signs of conditional love is that you feel like you have to do something to “earn” your partner’s love. If you find yourself constantly doing things for your partner to gain or keep their affection, it’s a sign that their love may not be genuine.

Another sign is if your partner only seems to show interest or appreciation when you do something they want or need; if they neglect or dismiss you when you don’t do what they want, it’s a clear indication that their feelings are based on conditions. If your Relationship feels more like a transaction than a genuine connection, it may be time to reassess whether this is the right partnership for you.

3. Your Partner Is Constantly Testing You.

If your partner is constantly testing you, it may be a sign of are not investing your emotion fully in the Relationship. They may be looking for an excuse to leave, or they may be trying to control you. Either way, this is not healthy behavior. If your partner constantly tests you in your Relationship, it is important to communicate with your partner and try to resolve the issue. If you cannot do so, it may be best to end the Relationship.

4. Your Partner Doesn’t Express Love In The Way You Want Them To.

One of the telltale signs that you may be in a conditional love relationship is if your partner doesn’t express love in the way you want them to. This can be frustrating because you may feel they need to meet your needs. However, it’s important to remember that everyone expresses love differently. So, just because they don’t do it the way you want doesn’t mean they don’t love you. If you’re unsure about whether or not your partner loves you unconditionally, try asking them directly. They may give you some insight into their feelings for you.

5. Your Partner Withdraws Their Love When They’re Upset With You.

Your Partner Withdraws Their Love When They're Upset With You

One of the telltale signs of conditional love is when your partner withdraws their love when they’re upset with you. This might manifest as them giving you the silent treatment or refusing to see or talk to you. It can be difficult in these moments, but it’s important to remember that this isn’t a healthy way to handle conflict. If your partner loves you unconditionally, they’ll be able to work through disagreements without resorting to withdrawing love.

6. Your Partner Uses Love As A Weapon.

One of the telltale signs of conditional love is when your partner uses it as a weapon. For instance, they might say things like, “I only love you if you do this for me,” or “I’ll only stay with you if you change.” This type of Love Language is often used to control or manipulate the other person. If your partner regularly threatens to leave or withdraw their love unless you meet their demands, it’s a sign that they don’t care about your well-being – all they care about is getting what they want.

7. You’re Always Trying To Figure Out Where You Stand With Your Partner.

Do you feel like you’re always walking on eggshells around your partner? If you’re never sure where you stand with them, it’s a sign of conditional love. A healthy relationship is built on trust, mutual respect, and communication. But if your partner is constantly changing their mind or gaslighting you, it’s a sign that they don’t truly love and respect you. If you’re in a conditional relationship, setting boundaries and communicating your needs to your partner is important. Otherwise, you’ll never be able to build a healthy, lasting relationship.

8. Your Partner Only Shows You Love When You Do Something For Them.

Your Partner Only Shows You Love When You Do Something For Them

If your partner only shows you love when you do something for them, it’s likely that they’re not really in love with you but are instead using you for their benefit. This form of conditional love is based on what someone can do for you rather than on who you are. If your partner only expresses affection when they want something from you, be it sex, money, or favors, then it’s time to reevaluate the Relationship.

9. Your Partner Is Never Satisfied With What You Do.

Your Partner Is Never Satisfied With What You Do

One of the telltale signs of conditional love is that your partner is never satisfied with what you do. They may constantly criticize you or find fault with everything you do, no matter how hard you try to please them. This can be extremely draining and frustrating, leaving you feeling like you can never do anything right. If your partner consistently makes you feel this way, it’s a sign that their love for you is conditional and not based on genuine admiration or respect.

10. Your Partner Constantly Threatens To Leave Or Break Up With You.

Your Partner Only Shows You Love When You Do Something For Them

A telltale sign that you’re in a conditional love relationship is if your partner constantly threatens to leave or break up with you. They may do this to control you or keep you from leaving them. Other signs of conditional love include:

  • Always needing to be right.
  • Feeling like your partner is never there for you emotionally.
  • Feeling like your happiness depends on your partner.

If any of these sound familiar, you must talk to your partner about your concerns and see if they’re willing to work on the Relationship.

11. Your Partner Always Puts Their Own Needs First.

One of the telltale signs of conditional love is when your partner always puts their own needs first. If they’re always looking out for number one, it’s a sign that they’re not truly invested in the Relationship. They may say they care about you, but their actions show that they care more about themselves. This isn’t to say that your partner can never put their own needs first – everyone has to do that sometimes. But if it’s a constant pattern, it’s a sign that love is conditional.

12. Your Partner Never Apologizes Or Takes Responsibility For Their Wrong Actions.

Your Partner Never Apologizes Or Takes Responsibility For Their Wrong Actions

One of the telltale signs that you’re in a conditional love relationship is if your partner never takes responsibility for their wrong actions. If they always find a way to blame someone or something else, it’s a sign that they’re not willing to own up to their mistakes. This can be frustrating because you constantly have to defend yourself and your actions. It can also lead to feeling like you’re not being heard or valued, which can cause resentment and further distance in the Relationship.

13. Your Partner Withdraws Love As A Way To Punish You.

Your Partner Withdraws Love As A Way To Punish You

One of the telltale signs of conditional love is when your partner withdraws love as a way to punish you. This may happen if you do something they don’t like or if they’re feeling insecure in the Relationship. They may give you the silent treatment, withhold physical affection, or stop talking to you altogether. This can be extremely hurtful and make it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship. If your partner regularly uses love withdrawal as a punishment, it’s important to talk to them about it and find other ways to resolve conflict.

14. You Always Have To Guess What Your Partner Wants Or Needs

If you always have to guess what your partner wants or needs, it’s a sign that they’re not communicating with you. This can be a big problem in a relationship, leading to misunderstandings and resentment. If you constantly have to second-guess your partner, it’s a good idea to sit down and talk about communication.

Conclusion

As you can see from the list, these are some telltale signs of conditional love. However, it is always better to be cautious and catch them as soon as possible so that you avoid falling into this trap. In the end, it doesn’t really matter how long you have been in a relationship.

What matters is that you pay attention to these telltale signs of conditional love and take steps to get out as soon as possible.  In case your partner is acting differently and you suspect that they are trying to trap you with their love, don’t wait for them but instead walk away from their offers for a better life.

In case you have fallen in love with someone who used any of the bad signs we just discussed, then there’s a way for it to end up positive. All you need to do is be mindful of your emotions and how they change over time (if at all). Then, go ahead and make a decision based on what feels right for you.

Faqs:

1. How Do You Know If Your Love Is Conditional?

Ans: Signs that someone’s love is conditional may include

  • waiting for the person to do things or behave in a certain way before expressing their feelings again,
  • being inflexible or unwilling to compromise on important issues,
  • constantly feeling let down or having your emotions controlled by the other person.

2. Is Conditional Love Manipulative?

Ans: There is no definitive answer, but often conditional love can be seen as manipulative if it’s used to control or manipulate the other person. For example, if someone frequently withholds their affection to get what they want from the other person, this may be seen as manipulative.

3. Can Anyone Love Conditionally?

Ans: No, not everyone can love conditionally. People who can love someone unconditionally may be less likely to find happiness in a relationship with someone who loves them conditionally. People may love conditionally because it allows them to control or manage their feelings for the other person.

4. How Do You Break Conditional Love?

Ans: It can be difficult to break conditional love, but often it requires talking about the issue and working on resolving any underlying issues. Often Relationship will require a change in attitudes or behavior from the other person.

5. Is Conditional Love Always Negative?

Ans:  Not necessarily. Some people may see conditional love as being positive because it allows them to have a healthy level of expectation and control in their Relationship. However, if conditional love is used to manipulate or control the other person constantly, this can be seen as negative.

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